


Was

by justK



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: I won't write the relationships so you can figure them out here, Kai has a chance to love, M/M, im sorry for writing this, its a cute story I swear, well actually I'm not, well as cute as it can
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-03-08 00:02:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18883999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justK/pseuds/justK
Summary: Jongin has a chance to love.





	Was

**Author's Note:**

> You have to read everything till the very end to understand, I'm sorry.  
> Not a native English speaker, an apology for any misspelling error I may have.  
> Enjoy :)

The park was one of the quietest places Jongin knew, especially this one because there were hardly any people, he really did not understand why, it was even more beautiful than the most popular park, but he appreciated it, that made it his own special place.

He threw the last piece of bread at the ducks and bent over to cut a beautiful, simple tulip. He heard footsteps behind him and got up quickly, as was well known, there were no people around and he was frightened by the sudden noise.

It was a tall, handsome guy who radiated security.

“Were you going to hit me?” The guy asked.

“No,” Jongin denied. “Why?”

He only pointed to the rock Jongin had in his hand, he had not realised when he had grabbed it. He lowered it down.

“It's not a very good way to meet someone,” he observed and Jongin laughed reluctantly.

“Well,” he said. “Normally it is alone whenever I come. You scared me.”

“I understand, that's why you caught my attention.”

“Did I?”

“Yeah, it's not common to find such a cute boy around here.” Jongin lowered his head, ashamed. “Do you come a lot?”

“Yes, whenever I can. But we had never coincided.”

“I'm glad this time we did.”

Jongin looked at him intrigued.

 

_Something caught his attention from the first moment he saw_ him _. Leaving aside how handsome he was, he radiated a different feeling that had captivated him from the first moment._

_Jongin had felt a current flowing from head to toe and although he had acted very sure of himself, inside he felt nervous._

_The guy had been kind and he seemed to be lightened and his facade made Jongin want to know him without delay, because he seemed to be different and something told him that was where he was supposed to be, that he was meant to meet this person._ He _had smiled very lightly with his lips sealed. And Jongin had done something he rarely did: he smiled back._

 

“Sorry,” he heard a male voice say. He lifted his head and looked at him strangely.

“You want to kill me,” Jongin said at last from the floor. _He_ laughed.

“I said I'm sorry, I didn't see you,” he held out his hand and Jongin gladly took it to stand up.

“You should be more careful, you were going very fast,” Jongin said like a mother.

“I was in a hurry, I wanted to get to a store before they closed, but I think I'll have to wait until tomorrow,” he explained.

"Was it very important?” Jongin knew it was _his_ fault that he had bumped him, but he felt guilty that he had lost the few minutes he had left.

“It can wait,” he assured him, and Jongin nodded without another word. “Do you want to go for coffee?”

Jongin's eyes widened in surprise, but he did not want to look rude.

“Sure.”

 

_He loved coffee as much as Jongin did, although Jongin liked it better because each time they had one he had more time and opportunity to meet him. There is no better way to express yourself than being in the company of another in a quiet place with good coffee. Although Jongin was very reserved, he had allowed this guy to approach him, because it was certainly unfair for Jongin to be curious about him and not allow_ him _to be curious about Jongin as well._

_Coffee became their emblem and so gradually they made their way into each others life._

 

He opened the door to find a huge bouquet of lilacs. Behind them he appreciated _his_ smiling face, Jongin smiled as well without abandoning his surprised and somewhat confused expression.

“What is this?” He asked, still amazed.

“Just one detail,” he gave him the flowers. “I saw them and thought of you.”

Jongin looked away from the flowers to look at his expression and at the end he gave him a hug.

“Thank you.”

 

_Daisies were Jongin's favorite flowers. He liked them because they were simple but beautiful._

_Over time,_ he _began to bring him a bouquet every week because they were not expensive flowers and because he knew they made Jongin happier than any expensive gift would ever make. And Jongin began to fall for him, because_ he _was all that he longed for._

_Jongin loved that he showed up on Fridays with the characteristic bouquet, because it indicated that they were about to have a beautiful day. They never knew what they would do, they were lovers of deciding things at the moment, letting everything come out genuine, simple and always beautiful. Like daisies._

 

“Here,” he gave Jongin more bread and he took it.

“Come duckie,” Jongin spoke as if the animal could actually understand him.

_He_ smiled, he loved Jongin's way of being so tender.

When he finished feeding the ducks, he took a seat next to _him_ on the bench and leaned on his torso as he put an arm around his shoulders.

“You know?” _He_ asked.

“Hmm?”

“I am grateful to have come that day.”

“When?”

“When we met,” he replied. “I'm so happy to have met you, Jongin.”

As usual, Jongin remained serious, it did not mean he did not feel anything, he was just very reserved. But _he_ did not immediately misunderstand Jongin's silence and he thanked him, because in his mind he was analysing.

Did he like him? Yes.

Did he want him? Yes.

Was he ready? No. And probably never would be.

But Jongin's body ignored his thoughts and when he least thought it, he had drawn _him_ to his lips to kiss him.

 

He _was not well and Jongin knew it. He had given him his space, but he had grown tired of just looking at him and not be able to do anything. So Jongin tried to talk to him, let him know that he was and always would be there for_ him _, that he could ask for help, that he wanted to help him._

_But Jongin had never seen him angry. It was not as if he had completely transformed himself, but he had raised his voice and seemed to act more erratically, he insisted on pushing Jongin away because it was his business, he had not hurt him directly, but his behaviour did._

_Jongin had almost shouted at him that he did not have to carry everything himself, if he had someone who was willing to help him._

_And then_ he _turned on his heels with the most serious and threatening expression to walk towards him. Jongin did not move because he did not think he could hurt him. And he was right. He simply took his face and pressed a kiss to Jongin's slightly parted lips._

_And Jongin swore there was no better feeling in the world._

 

Dinner with Jongin's parents had gone great. Unsurprisingly, Jongin's mother seemed nostalgic, but at the same time she was glad her son had finally found someone to love and make him happy.

So they found themselves back in Jongin's apartment after saying goodbye to his parents.

Jongin opened the door to enter, and before stepping in, he turned to look at him.

“Do you want to stay?”

_He_ answered with a kiss.

Jongin never thought he would feel ready to take the next step, but all doubt faded when they walked through the apartment without separating until they reached the room.

 

_Jongin loved_ him _. He was sure of it. That is why he did not hesitate to give himself to him._

_That night had probably been the best he'd ever had and it had been with_ him _._

_There were no words to describe what he felt._

He _had been the first, not only in his body, but in his life and Jongin was sure that he would never love anyone as he loved him._

 

They walked holding hands because it was satisfactory for Jongin to feel his hand.

Out of nowhere he felt the need to say it out loud.

“I like having you by my side.”

A rather random comment, but that meant too much.

 

_In order for_ him _to stay he must be convinced of what he had in mind. His boyfriend's parents obviously preferred for their son go with them, but he would not agree, much less knowing that if he did, he would have to leave Jongin._

_Jongin was in charge of giving him the encouragement he needed, because he loved to support him and because he did not want him to leave either. Jongin believed in him and loved him too much to let him go._

_Even after sacrificing himself on some things to help him, he knew that he had done the right thing._ He _had told him that he appreciated having Jongin not only by his side but also on his side. Against everything and everyone._

 

“I want to return to Korea,” Jongin said. “We got an opportunity there.”

At no point did _he_  release his hand, because it helped him feel the support he offered.

“No, Jongin,” his father said. “We came for a very important reason, there is nothing for you there.”

“Your father is right, Jongin,” it was his mother's turn to say. “It's for your sake.”

Jongin had neither the strength nor the courage to debate them. So he just got up and walked into the garden with him following close behind.

“We struggled to get a chance there,” Jongin heard him say. “I know that's what you want, what we both want and if you're willing, I'm on your side.”

 

_Jongin packed everything quickly and waited for his boyfriend to pick him up._

_He felt a bit dramatic, the way they had decided to leave the country overnight, made it look like they were running away. Jongin chuckled to himself. He had asked permission from his parents for a trip he had "been planning for months", a complete lie because it was more of a backpacking trip. But that was the point._

 

Jongin had not dared to disobey his parents, but he had encouraged _him_ to go to Korea to not lose the job offer they had made him.

He was coming back in a couple of days and Jongin was scared. He had this bad feeling that he couldn't ignore, because if he had learned anything, was to never ignore a hunch.

 

He _never came. And Jongin thought he had had a problem and that was why he had delayed. He tried to call him, but he did not answer, so he only had to wait._

_And he waited._

_And he waited._

_And he waited more._

 

Jongin hurriedly entered the hospital, desperately asking for the room, but no one seemed to listen. He was hysterical.

In the end he managed to be guided and ran as if his life depended on it to the room.

There _he_ was, apparently asleep under some sedation, but he seemed fine.

“Are you family?” A nurse asked as she was leaving.

“I'm his boyfriend.”

The nurse said no more and let him go.

His mother was asleep holding his hand and his father was pacing the room.

“How is he?” Jongin asked anxiously.

“Stable,” his father replied.

Jongin nodded, he loved his in-laws, but the situation made everyone treat each other coldly.

He walked to the other side of the stretcher and watched. He had not had a chance to cry, he felt he had no tears to draw, but inside Jongin felt himself tearing, inside he had entered into a state of madness and despair so great that he felt helpless and unable to prove it.

“Come on, my dear,” he heard his mother-in-law say. “Let's leave them alone.” And his parents left the room.

When Jongin was finally alone with him, he felt his barriers collapse.

He cried as he had not cried in a long time as he dropped into the chair holding _his_ inert hand.

“Jongin?” He heard his beautiful faint raspy voice and he moved immediately to see him, still crying.

“Yes,” Jongin replied. “I'm here.”

“Don't cry,” he asked faintly.

Jongin hugged him without harming him, but as if his life was gone in it.

“I'm so sorry I told you to go,” Jongin said in a choked, broken voice, which carried so much pain that it could have made anyone's skin prickle.

“I'm fine, Jongin,” he assured him. “I'm fine.”

 

_He had fallen asleep in the chair in a rather awkward position, but he had refused to leave his boyfriend's side. He could not leave knowing nothing was definitive, he could not leave his side because, after all, he loved to have him by his side and on his side. Against everything and everyone._

 

When Jongin had been ready, he found his parents waiting for him in the dining room.

The day was cloudy, it was not raining but it did not look as sunny either. He hated days like this. But this time it did not seem so bad.

 

_Everyone was watching, but Jongin could not care less. He bent down to leave a kiss, letting out a tear._

 

“You shouldn't be making any effort,” Jongin scolded.

“You act more like my mom than my mom,” he said.

“I'm serious, the doctor said you should rest, I know you're doing your best, but maybe you'd better obey.”

Jongin did not mean to berate him, he was simply afraid that something would happen to him. After the accident he had realised that he wanted _him_ more than he had believed. And he hated that they had to go through it, but it was just what he needed to open his eyes.

 

_Jongin watched as they lowered the coffin until it was completely out of sight. He cried even louder._

_When it was all over and everyone was gone, he knelt in front of the stone to leave a bouquet of daisies, like the ones_ he _used to bring him every Friday. He also left a coffee on the floor while he carried another to his lips._

_“We shouldn't have even thought about it.”_

 

The boy in front of him always radiated joy, his features and his brown hair made him look like a sunny day.

At first Jongin was afraid to approach because he was not ready to start again. But this guy had earned his heart and Jongin knew he had been put in his way for a reason. He had to move on.

 

_The boy who had once been by his side was a mystery, he used to remind him of the night because of his dark hair and his strange, reserved, cold personality, he had a beauty that only Jongin was able to admire._

He _had been his first love, Jongin had been afraid because he did not know exactly what he was experiencing. But his time with_ him _had undoubtedly been the best of his life._

 

Jongin loves Sehun.

Because he had made him come back to life, to love again, he had made him see that he still had a life to enjoy.

 

_But Jongin used to love Kyungsoo._

_Because he was the first to give meaning to his existence in a different way, because no one had loved him like he did._

 

Jongin loves Sehun.

 

_Jongin loved Kyungsoo._

 

Because Sehun was here.

 

_But Kyungsoo was not._

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was actually a story I wrote a couple of years ago but with KARD, and I was dying to do an adaptation to EXO and this is the result :)


End file.
